Another Baby Story- Hadley Lynn

 I'm the world's worst blogger but I'm determined to get this story on the blog! So..... better late than never??? Here it is (long and detailed per usual): 

HADLEY'S BIRTH STORY

**As most know- I was officially diagnosed with "severe preeclampsia" at exactly 36 weeks. You can read all about that shenanigans here. 

August 15th, 2014 

5:30pm

Immediately after getting an "ok" from my MRI results and getting my diagnoses they started me on anti-seizure medicine so they could start the induction process. 

*(FYI: magnesium sulfate is the anti-seizure medicine they use with patients with moderate to severe preeclampsia.  This is given for obvious reasons..... I was VERY high risk and could have had a seizure at any moment. Having a pregnancy related seizure (eclampsia) would cut off oxygen supply to our baby (and other organs) and there is a huge chance that it would end in death to the mom and baby. This is NOT something we take lightly but if you talk to me I may make it sound like it's no big deal. I had "mild" preeclampsia with Collin and never needed anti-seizure meds so we knew this was a bit of a bigger deal. Luckily they have magnesium sulfate treatment now and it is a highly effective prevention and treatment for eclampsia.  Thank goodness for modern medicine!!!)  

The anti seizure medicine ("mag" is what we will call it), although super awesome at keeping me and baby alive and well, is not super awesome being injected into you and most definitely does not have super awesome side effects.  It BURNS not only at the injection site but you feel it through your veins. My nurse was awesome and diluted it VERY heavily. It took almost an hour for her to push the full dose through my IV and she went through multiple bags of saline that she was also pushing with the MAG to dilute it (and now you know why I gained about 80 pounds of water weight those few days).

Another awesome side effect is that this drug sends you into some killer hot flashes. Poor Erik. One second I would be screaming to turn on the fan and throwing off blankets and 4 minutes later I was shivering out of control and he had to run and turn the fan off and throw all the blankets on me. And 4 minutes later it was back on with the fan full blast and off with the blankets. It was super awesome.... and that continued for days! Also- once you start MAG you are not allowed to get out of bed at all. It makes you really light headed and your risk of falling is pretty high apparently. So with that.... I was given the option of a catheter or a bed pan. Neither sound appealing in any way shape or form but considering I was not numb what so ever down there I opted to wait for my epidural before getting a catheter put in (are you feeling me ladies?!?!).

**(Anyway- that is the 411 about MAG.  I started that at about 5:45pm. By the time our nurse finished it up and got us situated it was almost 7pm. I think it is protocol to make sure the anti-seizure medicine is in and working for a bit before they actually start the induction process.) 

8:30pm

It was finally baby time!  (ps it was my mom's birthday! Collin was born on my dad's birthday so how cool would it have been if our girl was born on my mom's?? We were really pushing it and hoping for it but knew they were going to do this as slow and stress free as possible)

 The doctor came in and inserted the first round of cervidil to soften the cervix and to hopefully start contractions so I didn't have to do pitocin! The death drug!! (In case you want to read about my horrible experience with pitocin with Collin you can find it here). The first time I had preeclampsia I was pretty with it when they officially induced me. Not this time- I have ZERO recollection of this happening.  

11:30pm

When the process began I was dilated to a 2.  At this point I was now at a 2.5. Contractions were slowly starting but not very consistent so they started round 2 of the cervix softening pills. I remember a little more at this time of the night. I was feeling AWFUL!! My headache was killing me, I was nauseous, I still couldn't see anything so there was a pillow covering my face this entire time, and the MAG made me feel 1,000 times worse! I was hot, I was cold.... I was being pump with so much dang fluid that I had to pee every 5-7 minutes (not even exaggerating there) so the nurse had to come help me with a bed pan. The only thing bringing me even a sliver of relief on my headache was the ice packs that just kept melting all over me so Erik and the nurse would have to keep changing me and the bedding and fill up my ice packs. And..... that was pretty much our ENTIRE night!

August 16th, 2014 @4:45am

Contractions were coming on pretty strong and consistent. I was handling them pretty well and they were NOTHING like the pitocin contractions I had experienced my first go around. I was now dilated to a 4 and was all the way thinned out.  My nurse came back in our room and told us I REALLY needed to get some sleep. The doctor had recommended we get the epidural we already knew we wanted- then I could be totally numb of the contraction, get a catheter put in, already be prepped if they needed to start pitocin to speed things up.... and I could sleep. The thought of getting a catheter put in so I could sleep sounded convincing.... as did already having my epidural before pitocin! Deal!!! 

The nurse went to call the anesthesiologist up. I was laying in bed not knowing if I could really handle the epidural. I remember very clearly feeling like death (I sound really whiny... but I seriously have no other way to explain this haha!!). I remember feeling very anxious and like I was going to pass out. I felt very weak and the thought of even sitting up didn't sound possible.

5:00am

The anesthesiologist came into my room. I REALLY did not feel like doing this right now but he didn't look super happy we woke him up so I remember thinking it was now or never. And I REALLY wanted to sleep! The nurse, the anesthesiologist, and Erik all had to help me up.  I was shaking out of control. That was the part that really scared Erik- I couldn't stop shattering my teeth and it was like my whole body was convulsing.  He asked what was happening to me and the nurse said I was either cold or the adrenaline was kicking in (remember- I didn't speak at all at this point- pretty much for the past week but especially the past 24 hours).

The anesthesiologist prepped me and I remember thinking "I'm going to pass out. I'm going to pass out." Erik sat in front of me- my feet on his knees, our foreheads touching and me squeezing his hands. The anesthesiologist reminded me time and time again about how important it was for me to remain COMPLETELY still (good one). He did the first shot to numb the site and I flinched BIG time! He scolded me a bit and told me that was the practice round but really reiterated that if that was the real deal that I could have been paralyzed there.  Thanks dude. I don't remember my first epidural being this painful (of course I was in full on labor with the worse contraction in the world.... nothing was getting more painful than that!!). 

About 30 seconds later I remember thinking- I'm done.... gone! My head dropped and my eyes rolled to the back of my head.  The nurse was screaming bloody murder "we are losing her!! We are losing her!!" She grabbed my face and kept saying "come on Kimber! Stay with us!!" The anesthesiologist calmly asked her to take my blood pressure. The nurse yelled out some crazy low number (I think it was like 88/68..... Normal is 120/80. And for the past week I was closer to 160/112. So basically that dropped FAST! And not that I could process it... but that was NOT good at all!). I remember thinking "that's wrong! I have crazy HIGH blood pressure!" But I couldn't speak or control any part of my body. The second the doctor heard the blood pressure he began panicking: "Get her on oxygen NOW!" (I knew that the anesthesiologist did not paralyze me or damage me in anyway- I was already feeling like this and KNEW I was going to pass out well before he even got the needle by my spine. But holy moly- it was complete chaos in that room for those few minutes). By some miracle, Erik, who is usually the WORST in situations like this, grabbed my head and said "Kimber, you're ok. Breathe in.... breathe out. Breathe in.... breathe out. You've got this. You're doing great. It's almost over". (When I ask him about this part of the story he said everyone was in complete panic mode and he knew that wasn't helping me. He said he was beyond freaked out but somehow found strength to be strong for me). And with that... my oxygen levels started to come back up, my blood pressure started to come back up, and I started to come back to life a little bit.  I somehow was able to mumble a few words and Erik was able to translate them to "She said she needs to pass out and she needs to lay down".

The anesthesiologist gave the okay and they laid me down on my side as he finished up with what he was doing. I was out the second my head hit the pillow. They woke me up a few minutes later and asked if I could feel my lower half.  One side felt numb but the other side I could still totally move and feel. They told me I was having a major contraction and I couldn't feel it. With that (and the fact that there was no way I was having him redo my epidural any time soon) I said it was fine and I was going to sleep. And that I did!! 

8:00am

I woke up to the sound of typing. I looked over to see my sweet nurse standing there on the computer.  She immediately asked how I was feeling. She was almost in tears as she said she thought they lost me and she was so scared (I almost told her she didn't hide that very well... but I didn't).  She said she had not left my side since and she did all her paper work standing up next to me. Man- I can appreciate a good nurse any day... and that lady was the best! I loved her!! She then ran off to get the doctor who was waiting to speak to us as soon as we were up. 

*p.s. So my family doesn't completely freak out and forbid me to have any more babies (which that already do) I don't think they "almost lost me". I obviously don't know and didn't ask questions then- but if I could have spoken before the epidural... I could have explained I was already feeling like I was going to pass out (probably from a mixture of the drugs, not feeling well, and then topped with anxiety). I think sitting me up after DAYS of being flat down also brought on the hypotention (low blood pressure). But I still get why it was a scary and serious incident in their eyes. 

8:30am

Our doctor came in and talked with us for quite awhile about what was going on. How I was feeling. What happened earlier. He also checked me and said I was still at 4cm dialated (bummer) and that he felt we needed to start pitocin to get things moving again.

9:00am

Pitocin was added to my IV (I seriously had like 8 things hooked up to that IV port). 

I was feeling okay. With Collin it seemed my labor and delivery was a breeze and all preeclampsia symptoms disappeared.  Not the case here but that's okay. I still very much had preeclampsia and all the fun symptoms that came with that. I still was hooked up to MAG and had all the fun symptoms that came with that, as well. Oh yeah... and did I mention I had been getting my blood drawn every.single.hour since I had been admitted over 40 hours ago?? My arms and hands were soooo bruised! I also had to get my finger pricked every few hours as well because I still very much had gestational diabetes. BUT I did get a little sleep, my epidural was indeed working and I had zero pains from contractions, and I was SOOOO dang close to having my baby girl and I was so excited for that!

10:30am

This cute boy and my entire awesome family came to see us! That boy in general just makes me happy and makes everything better.... but seeing him in his big brother shirt just gave me a big boost of determination and I knew: "I've got this!" We enjoyed some Popsicles together (all I could really eat except broth- blah!) and then he was ready for his next adventures! 

11:30am

I was checked again and I was at 5. My water hadn't broken yet. I was still feeling about the same. Things were moving a lot slower this time around but I just wanted sleep so I was okay with that.

 1:30pm

I was checked again. They told me I was almost to a 6. She also went to ask if I wanted her to break my water but at that very moment you heard a "pop" and then she said "well nevermind... I just broke it.... and here is your mucus plug." (TMI?? Sorry!). Welp- that's disgusting but thank you. She noted things should start moving along now and that usually means I dilate according to the "1cm an hour" rule and I'd have our sweet girl in 4 hours! 

I wish I could say I was excited. I was excited to meet my little girl- don't get me wrong there! I was heartbroken that this wasn't the "beautiful" and "perfect" labor every mom dreams of. I enjoyed so much of my first birth experience but because of how miserable I was feeling- I wasn't enjoying a single part of this one and I felt AWFUL about it. 

At this point I looked horrible and I felt horrible. I looked over at Erik with tears streaming down my face and said "I can't do it. There is no way. I have nothing left... I can't go thru a delivery. We need to tell them I need a c-section." Erik pushed away my hair and said- "you are the strongest woman I know! You've got this!! You are so close and I know you will find the energy to push our baby GIRL out! Then she will be in our arms..... you will know she is healthy.... you will start to feel better... and you will finally rest easy! You've got this!"

2:30pm

HOOOOOOLLLLYYYY SMOOOOKES!!!!! I was screaming at Erik to bring me a bed pan and to get out of the room! I thought for sure I needed to use the restroom! He said he wasn't leaving and to just do what I needed to do. NO WAY! You lose all dignity during labor and delivery and there was no way THIS was going to happen in front of my husband! After a few minutes of arguing about it he finally left the room. 30 seconds later I called him and said to get back in the room (haha poor dude!). He came running in and I said I think this is it! Call the nurse!!  

**I NEVER had the "pressure" they say you feel when you're ready to push with Collin and I wasn't suppose to be fully dilated for hours.... but I was thinking this was definitely it! Everything about this labor was so opposite of what I experienced my first time!**   

The nurse came running and asked what I was feeling. "Do you feel a lot of pressure. Like you have to go to the bathroom?" Yes, yes and yes! And hurry! I need to push!! She rushed to put on her glove and went to check to see if I was fully dilated. I'm pretty positive she hit the baby's head and her eyes were huge as she tried to stay calm and said "oh yeah.... I think you are fully dilated and ready." Then proceeded to 9-1-1 the doctor and the NICU. She let me push once just to find relief then asked me to try to hold on.

2:40pm

The doctor came running in and put on her gloves. She said "okay Kimber- I just want to see how we are doing here. Go ahead and push on your next contraction so we can see what's going on." A minute passed and I was ready to push. Her eyes got big and so did Erik's. I told her I was so dang weak that I didn't have much in me and I was pushing with everything I had so to get ready! And with that she rushed to scrub in completely.

2:45pm

The NICU staff came walking in and the doctor looked and them stern and said "um... we are having a baby NOW". Luckily everything was set up so they rushed to scrub in as I gave it my all for another big push.

2:47pm

On my 4th and final push (12 minutes total) our sweet baby girl was born! (The Big Man upstairs was sure watching out and was on my side for that one. He knew there was no way I could have gone through a long, drawn out delivery like my first one!). 

Erik was able to cut her cord and she was handed directly over to the NICU doctor and nurses. (That's protocol for a 36 week baby- they assume they will have problems breathing and few other complications as they are born premature.) 

But our sweet mighty mouse passed all her test and they were shocked but she didn't need to go to the NICU! And FINALLY she was placed in my arms for the first time and all was well in the world!

And this, my friends, is a look of PURE relief (I didn't even know a camera was around). I think every momma feels relief when a healthy baby is placed in our arms for the first time.  But seriously. After everything we had been through for pretty much this entire pregnancy.... I honestly did not know this would be the outcome. I stayed up many, many nights sobbing and fearing for my baby and myself and I was told time and time again "you will hold a healthy baby girl in your arms and you will be able to be her mom on this earth." I doubted that MANY times.... but here it was. Just as HE promised. I was literally closing my eyes and saying "thank you! Thank you, thank you! Thank you for keeping your promise!!" (thank you Erik for capturing these first moments and genuine feelings... I will NEVER forget it!)

 And after relief came pure happiness and joy. I had my sweet baby GIRL. My daughter who would grow up to be my best friend.  My mom and I have the best relationship and I had dreamed of this moment for my entire life!! EVERY one commented on how much hair she had and how shocked they were with how well she was breathing. She was our true little miracle and such a fighter. 

The doctor wasted no time and asked her name. I went to say "we have no idea" (and really? I can't think straight.... please don't ask me to make any permanent decisions for the next 24 hours). But before I could even look up Erik said: "Hadley Lynn" and winked at me. I was shocked!! I loved the name Hadley and it was my number one choice (found it on pinterest looking through baby girl announcements haha) but he had always claimed he didn't love it- it was too "cutesy". I looked very confused and thought we were going to be choosing from Charlotte and call her "Charlie" (Erik's number 1 pick and one I was good with) or Harper (one we both agreed we liked). He explained he actually loved the name Hadley and had just been giving me crap. And after seeing me go through everything I had been through the past few days and the second he saw her he KNEW her name was Hadley (don't worry- I made him swear he actually liked the name and wasn't naming her that out of pity for me).

We ALWAYS knew her middle name would be Lynn. My grandpa's name was Lynn; he passed away when I was 14 and I adored that man to no end! (and almost every 1st born daughter on my mom's side had the middle name Lynn).  And Lenn (pronounced the same) was my best friend's mom who was a second mom to me and who I love so much (she passed away when we were 16). Two of my most favorite people who are now our best angels! I felt both of them there and keep a hand in this entire scary process! She is named after them both and I think it could not be more perfect for her!!

So there you have it.... 

Hadley Lynn 

6lbs 6oz

19.0 inches

 We ended up staying another 5 days in the hospital. If you want to hear more details of that, and answers to some frequently asked questions we get (including: "do you want any more babies?" and "how did you adjust to two kids?") you can read our follow up post here