Tuesday, July 23, 2013

A baby story

Thanks to my insomnia- I found myself spending hours (at like 1am) reading old blog posts from our blog, and my sister's blog the past few nights. I LOVED having such detailed stories from some of our favorite memories!! It reminded me of just how important blogging/keeping a journal is to me and I am determined to start back up!!! Before I start with what is going on in our lives NOW.... I think it is pretty important to share this one story:


Dun da da dun......... 13 and 1/2 months later, Collin is now making his BIG debut on our blog!!! World's worst mom...... or worst blogger??? I'm hoping, blogger. 

**Warning** I'm a pre nursing major- health care folks love the detail.... every dirty bit of it. There is not much of a filter here and I don't know what "TMI" means. This is the story of Collin's big entrance into this crazy world..... AKA a birthing story (hence the title).  If you think it's nasty/creepy- I won't hate you if you stop reading here. But for all you freaks (like me) who love the movie "In the Womb" and watch "A Baby Story" for fun- here is our story (minus the graphic pictures-you're welcome)!

As most of you know, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia at 35 week, and was put of strict bed rest.  On June 8th (at 37.5 weeks), I went to the clinic to drop of my 24 hour urine sample. After getting my vitals taken, I was hospitalized and put on strong medication to get rid of a headache and lower my blood pressure (I did a huge, LONG, very detailed post here so if you are interested.... check that out, but I will spare the details on this post). 
    
Friday, June 8th
11PM:
While still completely drugged up on morphine...... our midwife came into our room to turn off the alarms sounding for my abnormal vitals..... and told us then that our entire "medical team" agrees- it was time to induce. I couldn't tell you what she said..... I can't even remember her standing there- but I remember thinking "it's time" and looking over at Erik and thinking everything was going to be okay and I was soooooo excited to finally meet our son. He squeezed my hand to let me know he was thinking the exact same thing, then kissed my forehead and told me he loved me. Our midwife then (I honestly don't remember), inserted the first round of dinoprostone to soften the cervix. Erik said it was immediately after this that I FINALLY allowed myself to relax and go to sleep (I had put up a good fight since 6:45pm when I got morphine pushed in my IV and kept screaming "I'm going to pass out!!!").

Saturday, June 9th
3:30AM
Danielle (our midwife) came in to give me the second round dinoprostone and told me I was about 3.5cm dilated.  I was perfectly fine at this point (I knew what was going on and can remember this part of the night)..... the drugs had worn off, and I could see straight and could actually form words.  I spent a good 10-15 minutes talking with Danielle, who was still shocked and mortified about how the night went with me, and got a clearer understanding of exactly what happened and how serious this all was.  I assured her that I was feeling much better and knew everything was going to be okay. She had been in the clinic since 7:30AM (coming on from a long night shift at the hospital the previous night), and came straight to the hospital to be with us after here shift ended there. It was now nearly 4AM and she looked completely drained.  I told her how much I appreciated her, even getting a little emotional.... and told her to go home and get some sleep.  After being up for nearly 36 hours straight..... she said "ok". She squeezed my hand, letting out some of the same emotion I did.... and said she will be checking in every hour and the nurses know to call her with any update. I truly felt the love/care/compassion Danielle had for Erik, myself, and baby Fitz- and that is EXACTLY why I will always have a midwife during all my pregnancies. She said "good luck" and "you'll do great"..... Erik and I said "thank you so much!!" a thousand times over, and were left alone feeling nothing but peace and comfort. In fact, we fell fast asleep for the rest of the night (minus the tech coming in every hour to draw my blood)!

9:30AM
Erik and I both slowly woke up.... talked about the night before (Erik admitted that he was scared out of his mind..... but then quickly started making fun of me for how I was acting drugged out of my mind). It was a fun morning.... and I felt great.  The monitors showed that I was having lots of contracts and Erik would stare and the machines and yell "whoa!!! Did you feel that one??" And would just laugh and was totally overcome with excitement. We made sure all our paper work was complete (Erik had signed off on it all the night before- yes to an epidural, yes to doing whatever was medically necessary for mom and baby in case of complications..... Erik hated that question- mom or baby first??), I got more blood work done, and we even watched some silly morning talk show. 

11:30AM
They moved us into a different room.... it was HUGE!! And private :). We kind of felt like big deals. They told us it was because some of the machines were not working properly in our other room (which we were content in).... but we later found out this was the room for "high risk" pregnancies because they expect lots of doctors and a lot of commotion going on with these deliveries (thanks for not telling me this before). 
Immediately, our nurse hooked up the Pitocin to my IV (I was dilated to a 4 at this point) and told us she was only doing a small "drip" (the smallest dose possible). Her reasoning for this was because they wanted me to have a very slow and stress free labor..... basically they could not create any more stress because they could not allow my blood pressure to go up much higher..... and with pain comes the stress.  She told us I would probably not have the baby for a few days and it is a very long and slow process so to try to get some more sleep. It made sense- but really?? Days?????

11:45AM
15 minutes after the slow pitocin drips started..... Contractions came HARD and FAST!!!!!!!! I was lying about feeling contractions the past few weeks!!! Holy crap!!!!!! These are what real contractions were.... and they were coming one after another!!! A few minutes after these horrible death cramps started..... I felt wet under the sheets.  I told Erik in between breaths- I think I just peed myself, or my water just broke..... either way, I want to go to the bathroom (are you feeling me, ladies??). Call the nurse! Erik, who does not do well in high stress situations, fumbles to call the nurse.... is freaking out.... and once the nurse answers he says "oh hi.... um, I think Kimber just peed her pants or something. Or maybe her water broke- can she go to the bathroom? What do I do with all the cords she is hooked up to? Ok, Thank you!" I was in sooooo much pain, I didn't even realized that the man didn't even tell the nurse to come down!! Or let her know I was in HORRIBLE pain!! Or to let her know this was even remotely serious!!  

This cute man FINALLY gets me to the bathroom..... I peed so much that I literally thought I was going to over flow the toilet- yep..... I'm pretty certain my water has completely broke!! Then.... blood!!! Okay.... I can feel the blood pressure going up by the second. Lost the mucus plug. Contractions are still coming hard and fast... not leaving me much time to "breathe" in between.  I am in so much pain.... do I stand up? sit down? do I need to go to the bathroom?? what the heck?!?! It was horrible...... and painful!!! And Erik was just as big of a mess as me!!! He was running back and forth trying to help me up, sit me down... trying to take off my gown.... trying to find a clean one. It was a LOOOONGGG 3-4 minutes. And then....... again, it all went blurry. I know what will make me feel good.... I just need to lay down on the bathroom floor, covered in nasty fluids and blood (aka- pretty much black out). Erik was in a full on panic/anxiety attack at this point and literally couldn't even think of what to do.... luckily, the nurse came in "to check on us" right at that moment.  She FLIPPED out!!! "What are you guys doing???" "Why is she on the floor??" "What happened?????" "I just left you guys!!" "We need that baby on the monitor now!" "Help me get her into bed NOW- don't worry about the mess or her clothes." She ran out the door, only to return with the anesthesiologist seconds later (I guess they always have one out side the "high risk" doors). The nurse and Erik got me on the edge of the bed while the anesthesiologist prepped for the epidural and reminded me again and again of the risks that could happened if I moved at all while he was putting it in. As terrified as I was to get an epidural..... I was in soooooo much pain, that I didn't even care.  Erik sat in a chair right in front of me- I had my feet on his knees, he was holding my hands and had his forehead pressed against mine. He looked into my eyes to calm me down, to remind me over and over again "you can't move, Kimber!" "It's going to be okay.... the pain will be gone in a second."  Honestly.... I couldn't even think of the HUGE needle going into my spine.... I had to just concentrate on getting though the HUGE contractions that were coming none stop and try not to budge a muscle during that.  The anesthesiologist told us it would take about 15 minutes to get everything in- but after a few minutes I could already feel the pain start to decrease and my blood pressure started to go down (the nurse stayed in watching the blood pressure the entire time).  
12:00PM
Wow! That was a LONG and excited 15 minutes, right?? (So much for a slow.... stress free labor!!!) Before the anesthesiologist could even pack up his stuff- I couldn't feel a thing!!! My legs felt a little weird- but I couldn't feel contractions (my nurse told me when I was sitting back in bed that I was having a huge one and I literally just smiled), I was relaxed..... and happy as could be.  My blood pressure was lower than it had been in days, and I was dilated to a 5.  The nurse changed my sheets, and cleaned me up... I got a catheter put in.... and then the nurse brought me in a big birth ball to put in between my knees.... and I took a nice long nap with the love of my life next to me (whew! It had been an intense few minutes there.... and it was crazy how fast it all settled down).

4:00PM
Erik and I had been sleeping, watching movies, talking.... LAUGHING for the past 4 hours.  It was crazy to think that I was in "active labor".  It was so peaceful.... so relaxing.... so stress free and pain free. AMAZING!!! Epidurals are my new best friend. (I know there are many of you who are completely against any kind of drugs during labor- props to you. I have a lot of respect for you- and I hope you respect my views as well. I have taken nursing seminar classes on labor and delivery- I have seen complete natural births, home births, water births, and births where epidural or other pain relieving medicine is used. Personally, I have done my own research and I am pro epidurals and knew that well before getting pregnant. And if you ask me if I could do it all over again, would I use it- and my answer is HECK YES!!!!) . Anyways..... The nurses were in and out of our room all day and I was dilating according to the 1cm/hour rule. When they came in at 4, we knew we had to be close, but when she said "you are fully dilated! You can start pushing whenever you would like," I was in shock and just not ready!! I literally didn't feel anything.... definitely no "pressure" like they kept talking about so I said I would wait.

4:30PM
The nurse came in and asked if I at least wanted to "practice" pushing and see what happens. I said "sure.... why not??" I basically just mimicked what she was doing and put my chin to my chest and held my breath while her and Erik held my legs.  I didn't know what I was doing.... In fact, I was convinced that I wasn't doing anything!! It was the first time (surprisingly) that I felt slightly uncomfortable.  My family had shown up and was in the waiting room- so I asked if we could take a break after about 20 minutes of holding my breath and pretend like I was actually doing something productive. 

4:50(ish)PM
My family came in bearing gifts and just looked at me weird. Haha! I love them! We talked and laughed some more- and I literally did not feel like I was about to have a child!

5:15PM
My nurse came in and said I should start pushing again. My family said goodbye (I only wanted Erik in the room- and they were very okay with that)- and went across the street for a birthday dinner for my dad. They said to call when the baby was here.  I started "pushing" immediately after they left.  My nurse was AWESOME and so patient with me. Again, I still didn't know what I was doing... and still couldn't really feel the pressure that she kept talking about.  She told me to push like I was going to the bathroom.... well, if any of you know my husband..... he is slightly immature in this area and kept laughing and saying "I can't wait until you poop yourself!! I will never let you live it down." Um..... really dude??? That is motivation right there.... not!! 

6:30PM
Still no baby!!! After well over an hour of "pushing", counting through the pushes, telling stories about our personal lives in between the pushes (I got the nurses entire love life, nursing school experience, and lots of fun stories of her kids- all while she sat at the end of my bed massaging the birth canal to "keep in loose"- AWKWARD!!! But whatever.....) we were all getting impatient and kind of annoyed.  Collin had been in the birth canal (she had been able to feel his head and could tell he had lots of hair) for hours, my epidural was pretty much gone (I no longer needed them to help me lift my legs when I pushed), and although I still felt great and baby Fitz still had a strong heart beat.... I knew I just wanted to meet my baby already!!! Our midwife who was going to deliver me came in to see my progress because she had 3 patients who were almost ready to deliver so she was seeing "who was going to be first... or who was going to have to wait."

6:40PM
Turning this into a competition.... and knowing that I would have to wait if I couldn't push this baby out SOON gave me a whole knew determination. Suddenly, I didn't care about what Erik was joking about earlier (which, I didn't do! In case you were wondering lol).  

Here was Erik right at this point as they were preparing for delivery and the NICU nurses were in there with all their stuff ready to take baby Fitz who was coming a few weeks early.    
 And here I am right before the final push- yikes!!
6:43PM
I pushed as hard as a could when they gave me the "okay"- after only two of those big pushes I was crowning and from the look on Erik face- I knew I was close!!! At this point I could feel EVERYTHING as my epidural had completely worn off and I didn't want any extra doses throughout the day. As most of you know (or as you can imagine)- this was not a pleasant feeling.... I didn't even want to "take a brake to breathe"! Before they could even ask if I wanted a break after that second push, or start the counting for the next push.... I had grabbed onto my own legs and pushed with everything I had- I think even sounding like those dudes in the gym who moans and groans so everyone looks at them to see how much weight they are lifting and hard they are working- and ta da!!!!!!
6:45PM
Baby Fitz made his grand entrance into this crazy world!! It was the most amazing feeling in the world to see that tiny human come up over the sheets.... to know that was our baby! The overwhelming emotions of instant love, excitement, happiness, joy...... I don't know.... the feeling is honestly indescribable, but most definitely unforgettable!! As you can see, he came up on my chest crying (Erik and I both joined in on the tears as we examined our perfect baby and kissed him all over the place)..... and shortly after his eyes started rolling to the back of his head and he turned blue. Terrifying?? Of course!!! The nurses quickly took him from us and put him on oxygen. I think baby Fitz just wanted to give us a taste, right out of the gates, on what it is like to truly worry about your children. Erik gave me a long kiss.... I think we both said a silent prayer with each other at that moment- then he went over to the other side of the room to be with his son and to make sure all was well. 
Baby Fitz (still nameless at this point) only had to be on oxygen for a few minutes (a long few minutes.... but a few, none the less). He got his shots, got cleaned up...... and was as healthy as could be. He weighed in at 6lbs 11oz, and 19 and 1/4 inches long.
I was anxious to be with my baby, and kept looking over and getting the thumbs up from my cute hubby who was literally smiling ear to ear with tears running down his face. I knew all was well and that my life just became so much more whole and full of purpose! (side story: Erik was going back and forth between the baby and I to make sure we were both okay. He didn't realize that there was a 3rd stage of delivery. As I was delivering my placenta he was at my side talking about our son and how cute he was.... and all of the sudden looked down to see, as he describes it, "a pool.... just a pool of blood!!!" and he almost went down! We was a champ during the whole delivery, but that made him almost lose it.... the midwife looked up at him and smiled and said "why don't you go check on your son".... and Erik nodded, still wide-eyed, as he walked away like he had been scarred for life! haha)

And finally..... I was cleaned up, the baby was swaddled... and we were reunited, the three musketeers!
My family all came in from the waiting room and were so anxious to meet baby Fitz!! We got lots of "what took you sooo long!!"
One of my other favorite moments was when my dad got to meat his first grandson..... who he now shares his birthday with :)
Soon after, the labor and delivery staff came in to say "congrats" and "see you later"..... wait, what?? We were soon cleaning up our room and packing up to be wheeled up to the postpartum floor of the hospital (fancy right?? that's what you get when you deliver in a women's hospital).

I honestly felt great!! I was literally in pain for maybe 20 minutes total during this whole process (the 15 minutes before the epidural and the last 5 minutes right before he came). I could stand up and walk right away as my epidural had worn off. I didn't have any complications with delivery (I didn't rip or tear at all and could pee without any pain.... which was one of my biggest fears- I have heard horror stories about that shenanigans!). I had to continue getting my vitals taken and my blood drawn but I was good! I had a burst of energy and was ready to party!! So my awesome sisters went and got some cards and Dion's pizza (mmmmm!!!!) and came to party in our room at like 10pm (another perk of our awesome hospital- no such thing as visiting hours). 

We spent a lot of time that night trying to breastfeed.... practiced our swaddling techniques.... changed diapers.... and helped give him his first bath. 
There is no such thing as "nurseries" at our hospital- which I loved- so we were basically doing it all with him.... just like we would at home. But of course if we needed anything or had any questions, the nurses were always right there and so sweet and ready to help..... always asking if they wanted us to take him and rock him at the nurses station so we could get some sleep- um.... nope!! I want to spend every single second with this cute boy!
We even finally decided to name him that first night. He was "Noah" for the first few hours.... which we both loved the name Noah. But we also both loved the name Collin. We went back and forth with it all evening... I was leaning more towards Noah, and he was pushing more for Collin but we both said "we don't care". When it came time to write out his card and they asked what his name was- Erik looked at me and said "I REALLY want our son to be named Collin." After the past few days that I had had..... who wants to argue?? Besides.... Collin seemed perfect for little man :). We always knew his middle name would be Daniel, as that is Erik's middle name and his Dad's name. So- there we have it.....
COLLIN DANIEL FITZGERALD
He was perfect! He had TONS of dark hair. Blue, blue eyes. Huge hands and feet. We just stared at him for days..... how blessed we are!!
We stayed in the hospital for a few days because we were having some trouble breastfeeding.  We soon got the hang of it, and we were finally released to come come around 5:45PM Monday (June 11th).

There you have it- the day that changed our lives FOREVER!!!!

We love you, little man!!!

4 comments:

  1. Oh so sweet!!! Cute!!. Being parent is very special feeling. Kids are gift of god.

    Regards,
    Hot Stone Massage

    ReplyDelete
  2. Greetings Kimber and Erik! I was hoping you could email me about a quick question I have about your blog! My name is Heather and my email is Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail(dot)com :-)

    ReplyDelete